I'm Not in the Mood!
Often we hear women say that they’re “not in the mood.” This is certainly not a wise reason to refuse your husband in bed. Moods come and go, and, as you know, just because you don’t start out wanting to have sex doesn’t mean you won’t end up there before it’s over. Don’t get me wrong, you always have a choice about what to do with your body.
But hey, if it’s the intimacy you’re after, “yes” at least once a week when your husband wants to make love regardless of whether you’re in the mood. After all, why would you pass up a chance to have physical intimacy with your husband when it’s such a vital part of overall intimacy? Agreeing to make love with your husband helps to make him feel loved.
I Don’t Feel Emotionally Connected With You
If you’ve lost your appetite for sex because you feel abandoned in your marriage and overwhelmed with all your responsibilities, it may be that you’re exhausted from doing everything or can’t find the time to get romantic after working and taking care of kids all day.
First, relinquish some of those responsibilities to your husband rather than grumbling, “He doesn’t do anything to help me, so why should I do something he wants?” Remember that everyone loses during a long, lonely standoff. This attitude puts you no closer to restoring harmony. Not least of all, withholding sex as a bargaining chip in the relationship is a terrible misuse of physical intimacy. Once you begin to make sex seem like a reward for good behavior rather than a mutual pleasure, you abuse your power and disregard your own health.
Let me state this unequivocally: as you commit to regular physical contact, you will begin to enjoy it more because you will be able to devote the energy you were expending to avoid sex to expressing what you want and to making sex enjoyable for you, writes author and relationship expert Laura Doyle in her book, “The Surrendered Wife.”
Note: To Be Con’ted!