WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER HURTS YOU: ADMIT IT WHEN YOU’RE HURT

All husbands, and by implication, all wives or partners, say hurtful things to themselves from time to time. It’s tempting to retaliate by jabbing him or her back. Unfortunately, that sets you up for a full-blown fight where you both walk away wounded. 

If you can avoid ” hitting” him or her back, you’ll steer clear of further injury on both sides and raise the level of kindness in the relationship. When your partner says something hurtful to you, respond by saying “Ouch” and probably leaving the room if you can. 

When you don’t punish him or her for his or her comment by hurting him/her back, you preserve your dignity, and the potential for intimacy and peace reaches heavenly heights. The key still remains to… I mean, avoiding conflict means resisting the temptation to strike back when you feel stung. It’s not easy to give up retaliation, but it can be done. 

Silence and coldness at whatever point is a price to pay either. When you use the “Ouch” approach, you don’t need to explain anything or demand an apology. He or she will get it. Contrary to some opposing views, it’s not goofy nor is it in anyway vulnerable. 

While your partner may seem like the enemy in the heat of the battle, he/she is certainly not. Far from it… you’re both on the same boat . According to Laura Doyle, author of “The Surrendered Wife,” showing him or her a soft underbelly is obviously a good way to remind your partner of this. 

Note: We need to hear from you. Let’s hear from you. Shalom!